BUTT, seriously not for charity…

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word pornography as; printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement. It is not every day that one looks up the word pornography in the dictionary, but the events of this week prompted me to. In case you haven’t heard, the latest in town is that President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni this week was reported to have assented to the anti-pornography bill making it law.

In South Africa, popular actress and TV host, Boity Thulo has been the subject of a media debate after she appeared in the latest issue of Marie Claire magazine’s annual Naked Issue, which was released on Monday. Radio DJs Catherine Grenfell and Zama Dube are alongside her in the picture on which none of the three has any clothing on, only retaining the slightest hint of modesty by covering breast with hands and other reproductive parts with a sitting posture that makes it hard for all to be seen. http://mediaslutza.com/2014/02/18/marie-claire-south-africa-march-2014-naked-issue/

Mzansi actress Boity "Boitumelo" Thulo

But what is grabbing headlines and stirring debate is the Pornography law in Uganda as some aspects of the law seek to establish a dress code. The Ugandan government said the president signed into law sweeping anti-pornography legislation that covers a range of issues related to pornography, including child pornography, pornographic publications and even suggestive music videos. Earlier in December 2013, Parliament passed the Anti-Pornography Bill, in an effort to thwart pornography which is blamed for sexual crimes against women and children including rape, child molestation and incest.

This piece of legislation also outlaws miniskirts and other types of revealing clothing. The law makes it illegal to wear revealing clothing, including tops that show too much cleavage and miniskirts, defined as anything above the knee. This is what baffles me, as this is tantamount to imposing a dress code. What has dress got to do with Pornography I may ask? I think our friends from the Ugandan parley have stretched the meaning of pornography far too much. Even the skimpiest of attire cannot be outlawed as pornography. Pornography remains, printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement and not skimpy dress.

Media houses are also banned from publishing pictures of couples kissing or indecently-dressed women like those taken in night clubs. This imposition of a dress code in the name of fighting pornography is an affront on human rights and the respect for women’s rights. If anyone wanted to legislate anything related to dress, then Freedom of dressing was supposed to be enshrined as a constitutional right. How a person presents themselves to their peers and to the rest of the world is up to them. Those that cross the line to nudity are a special case and each country must have adequate laws that govern indecent exposure and not criminnalising short skirts.

People wear different items of clothing for different reasons. A lot of people use dress as a way of self-expression while others’ dress determines their personal brand. Humans must have the right to exercise religion and the right of free speech among others, and limiting a person's way of expression abuses these rights. What must regulate dress are the dress codes that exist figuratively and literally in many places. A woman may not go to a Christian church dressed only in bum shorts, but can go jogging in her neighborhood. Why should you stop one going to a night club from putting on a mini skirt?

And how do you lamely blame rape on ‘indecent dressing’? Those that have done research tell us that most rape victims suffer their fate at the hands of people they know. This could be a boyfriend who lures a girl to a private place where sex happens without her consent. For all we know she could have been dressed as a catholic nun before meeting the boyfriend.

The bottom line is that men, as humans should strive to exercise themselves from finding excuses for animal behaviours, but shou1d remain dogged in the exercise of their power of self-control in the face of any temptation to do the contrary. In saying all this, I am not an advocate of indecent dressing but merely emphasizing on the importance of the human race to respect individuality, free thought and determination.

Speaking of dress codes and the lack of it, let me come back to Boity Thulo’s recent escapades in Marie Claire magazine. Never one to intentionally underdress, Boity is an avid lover of the mini-dress and towering platform heels. And I have no problem with that. In fact I have no problem if she poses nude in a porn magazine. But for a mainstream TV personality to go nude in a mainstream magazine that is not right in my eyes. Yes I do preach right of self-determination and self-expression, but I do not preach that nudity fit for pornographic magazines must now be brought to the public with utmost ease. In fact this is now propagating extreme behavior fit only for X-rated audience into the conventional audience.

I believe in freedom of choice and even in the issue of miniskirts I say one must be free to choose what they wear depending on the appropriateness of the occasion and destination. The chasm between skimpy dress and nudity is way too big and the two must never be confused. Those that venture into nudity must do it for the porn audience and never for a mainstream audience.

The irony of it all is that these nude pictures are an initiative to raise money for charity, so we are told. In the picture the actress and TV presenter has only a white towel wrapped around her head and stands facing away from the camera, with her buttocks in full view. I don't see the point of going naked for charity, why not ‘get your hands dirty’ and help out in communities for charity instead?

The noble cause of fundraising for charity is lost in the bum really. I know controversy sales but (BUTT, to paraphrase), definitely not for charity. What message are we giving to the young boys and girls who will benefit from the money raised from this initiative? “Boitumelo, Catherine Grenfell, Zama Dube and other celebrities undressed so that we put food on your table for this month and the next.”

The world and Africa in particular needs better role models for our little girls. They have to wish to be famous for thermo-nuclear research rather than taking their clothes off. In response to the controversy she has brewed Boity is quoted as having responded by saying;

"Yeah I’m glad that this whole reaction happened and Marie Claire will have had something good come out of something funny (#BoityReaction I’m assuming is the ‘Something funny’) I’m just glad that they’re getting the publicity out of it, it was the point. I didn’t expect my part to be this big but the fact that it is only good for the magazine."

"My Mother? She understood that it was for charity. She knew that I was planning on being a part of the shoot and she was looking forward to it. When the pictures came out she commented that they came out well and that she liked them. She was on board with the whole thing."

 

Above the knees: Stunning & elegant, but you could go to jail for this in Uganda!

I can only conclude that this was an attention seeking stunt because the result is that everyone focuses on the girls and the intended objective is hidden in the BUTT. So why not take an initiative that takes the objective of the cause as the epicenter?

In the meantime, all the Nkana Football club female fans travelling to Uganda for the game against Kampala City Council must carry with them clothing that look like catholic non habits. Carry a mini skirt at your own peril.

The Romantic & the Platonic!

Being one who is never short of an opinion, here are my thoughts on Valentine’s Day vis-à-vis romantic Zambian men.

Zambian men are not romantic, so say many ladies. Others even say the Zambian male of today is not willing to fight for his woman. Any misunderstanding or argument in a relationship, the male is the first willing to let go and end the relationship. If you haven’t heard these sentiments then you are probably in the diaspora as this is a cry that you hear far too many times from the women folk in Zambia.

Romance is a word which could be understood to mean; conducive to or characterized by the expression of love or suggestive of an idealized view of reality. At least that is my conceptual understanding of the word. If what I saw around the shopping malls and central business district of Lusaka this week and especially today is anything to go by, then Zambian men are very romantic. By categorizing Zambian men as very romantic I am distancing myself from the masses that draw an abstract conclusion out of the lack of gentlemanly etiquette most Zambian males lack. Yes opening a door for a lady is gentlemanly and not romantic.

Today, 14^th February, I was one of the many male folks that made a last gasp shopping for red roses for delivery to our significant others as a sign of love in ‘commemoration’ of valentine’s day. Trust me there were many male folks today buying all sought of red regalia, buying gifts of chocolates, flowers, jewelry and other items for their loved ones. I even saw a Valentine’s Day notice in the newspaper.

Maybe the argument is that on any day other than 14^th February, Zambian men lack an ounce of romance. That too is not the correct picture. So many times a lot of Zambian males will be seen walking out of a gift shop with a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolate or just taking his other half to the mall for a movie. These actions can all be categorized within the context of romantic as they are categorized by the expression of love.

Yet others categorize the expression of affection in public as romantic. A lot of people will say Zambians are not romantic because very little couples kiss in public. In other societies couples get cozy and openly express affection by kissing on public buses, trains, at the malls etc. I do not think showing affection in public is the same thing as being romantic. Likewise, a display of passion (sexual) should also not be confused to mean romantic.

Most men evince to the fact that going into a flower shop is not the easiest of things. It almost feels like a part of our masculine self has been taken away from us. It’s not easy walking out of that flower shop with flowers in hand and you get all these stares from everyone you bypass. When I was younger I’d describe the situation as ‘it ain’t gangster’. That aside, men know that flowers are important for our ladies hence we go and make those purchases then walk out of the flower shop with pride, feeling like every female we pass is envious of the recipient of the flowers we are carrying. Only love takes us to that flower shop. This action is characterized by the expression of love.

In point of fact, many a man do not like the idea of expressing love (edit to read being romantic) on Valentine’s Day only. Most Zambian men will tell you to say every day and any day we need to show love to our women. Having said that, I must also hasten to mention that a man is different from a woman in many ways and the ways of expressing love by each sex is distinguished. For most women, Valentine’s Day is much more important. Therefore the men have assimilated the culture of commemorating the day.

Personally I have never really been so much keyed up by this day for the lovers. Maybe because I grew up believing the origins of the celebrations of the day are etched in pagan festivities. But that is just one version. Another version is that traditionally in some parts of the UK, spring begins on February 14th, the day on which birds chose their mates. In parts of Sussex Valentine’s Day was called 'the Birds' Wedding Day'. Yet another version is that Saint Valentine is a widely recognized third-century Roman saint who presided over secret weddings for condemned men and he was executed on February 14. Nothing is reliably known of the origins of Valentine’s Day, but it is widely celebrated throughout the world today.

Some people choose Valentine’s Day as the day to propose to their partners, while others set February 14 as their wedding day. In recent years, Valentine's Day has become a commercial day more than anything else, with tradition and folklore thrown out the window. When I was in my 8^th grade I sent a valentine’s card to a girl I admired then and this was sent anonymously. We were told it was a day when secret admirers sent presents. In the years that followed we believed in sending gifts to those we love such as a girl friend or a wife.

In recent years it has become a day for sending out flowers and presents to a ‘valentine’ of choice. This could be a mother, father, brother, niece or that neighbor from the next street. On the radio today the host kept greeting every caller with the words “happy valentines”. Then I received an email from a male colleague whose greeting was also ‘happy valentines’.  It’s all confusing now what Valentine’s Day is all about now. I definitely won’t walk into the office and wish everyone happy valentines or send out happy valentine salutations to everyone like it is their birthday.

It has all become a lot too confusing for my liking really. Since my most recent understanding of the day is that it is for the one you love and are in a relationship with, I will keep it a day for the wife. I will hope to surprise her every year with something she isn’t expecting. Last year I spread rose petals on our bed and the floor from the bedroom door making a red carpet of rose petals. She was ecstatic and mentioned I am very romantic. Two months later she called me a hopeless romantic after I stayed late at the office and when I got home, I went straight to the TV remote and got glued to the football match that was airing.

In the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, John Gray outlines differences between a man and a woman which he believes when appreciated, it help to grow love in a relationship. One of my famous quotes from the book is; “Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished.” The differences between the sexes are many and quite often prove to be the dividing line between a weary relationship and a great one. I will not put my relationship with my wife in a precarious situation all because of my jaded understanding of Valentines.

My understanding of the reason for Valentine’s Day may be indistinct but I have to sign off now in order to make it on time for that candle lit dinner with the wife. Before then let me confirm with the manager of the restaurant I am headed to if he has emptied all the water in the swimming pool and filled the empty space previously occupied by water with dinner tables and rose petals standing in for a red carpet. 

Trevor Noah on Zambian Escalators…

For a number of months now Trevor Noah’s video in which he talks about escalators in Zambia has been the talk of many Zambians. A lot of Zambians have directed their disgust toward the South African stand-up comedian accusing him for among other things painting a picture of Zambians as a backward people.

In the short clip which has been widely circulated on many phones, tablets and all sorts of gadgets, Trevor suggests that the first ever public escalator in Zambia was built in August (2013), thus many Zambians are so fascinated with them that they go to the shopping malls not only for shopping but the experience of ‘riding’ the escalators too. According to Mr.Noah, children in Zambia are not excited by the mention of an afternoon out shopping at the mall but they get excited when a parent mentions that ‘riding’ the escalator will be part of the deal.

So much scorn has been directed at Trevor Noah with many suggesting that he went too far in an effort to make a living by making people laugh. Others even suggested that the comments should have been met by serious remonstrations like the furor that attracted Zambia’s vice-president Guy Scott for suggesting that South Africans are an ungrateful lot of backward people.

Others even suggested that by Noah painting a false and highly inaccurate picture of Zambia to the ‘world’, he is directly making it difficult for tourists to come to Zambia thereby denying us the much needed foreign currency.

  

My views… my thoughts

My question is; who takes comedy as gospel? Granted, Trevor is an international artist who travels the globe, but who takes his words as truth? Let alone even just taking what he says at his shows as his personal opinions. If this was the case then we would conclude that Trevor is a racist, who hates Indians, he was happy with the Marikana mine shooting where more than 34 striking mine workers were killed etc.

Trevor Noah is to me a very intelligent businessman who has used events around him to make comedy which has enabled him make an opulent living. The very first time I watched Trevor on a TV show, in my mind I set him aside from the several stand-up comedians I had listened to before. He was fresh, his jokes were ‘clean’ and above all I think I related more to his jokes. His jokes were closer to home. After many years of listening to American stand-up comedians I got to a point where I believed stand-up comedy in the US was nothing but a load of expletive laden librettos.

In as much as there are one or two materials worth a loud laugh in American stand-up comics, the bulk of it is really polemic execrations. I have listened to Chris Rock, Russell Peters, Jeff Dunham, Dave Chapelle, Dane Cook, Cedrick the entertainer, Bennie Marc and even Eddie Murphy. All of these and many more including Steve Martin and Bill Cosby will make anyone laugh any day, but like a certain colleague of mine often scolds me regarding English jokes, at times I just never found where the joke was. While I struggle to find where the joke actually is in some comedians, others are just too vulgar I can’t sit down in front of the TV and watch with my family.

Then along came Trevor Noah a South African of mixed race but he called himself colored. In some places on the earth, colored may be a racial statement. Trevor joked about politicians; those who condemned everything just because they are opposition, those who stood on podiums to make empty rhetorical statements, those who threatened citizens just because they are in power and yes Julius Malema, Nelson Mandela and Jacob Zuma. He made jokes about stereotype issues regarding race differences; Indian culture and their love for chilli, black South African culture, even Mexican and American culture.

Trevor has even made jokes on albinism, but is intelligent enough to try not to be offensive as any joke targeted at other people is always executed in the passive tone as a third party. He makes a point to bring it out because it is being said out there, make a joke about it and then in the end mention that is ridiculous (one of the words he uses quite a lot). He is immensely gifted at immersing himself into the lifestyle, beliefs, culture and generally everyday life of others and finding something humorous in it. The fact that in some places serviettes are called napkin was material for him to prepare a script for a show. How many times have you walked in a supermarket and seen a shelf labeled ‘napkins’, and serviettes are displayed there?

In the case of the Zambian escalator jokes, put in typical Trevor Noah fashion, he  mentions to his audience not to picture Zambia as a dusty village as it was a ‘beautiful country with stunning malls, beautiful hotels, roads and developing just like South Africa,  but just never had escalators’. Of course he exaggerated some statements, but that is what comedy is all about. We all laughed when he told jokes where his subjects were South Africans but found offence when we were the subject. He even made fun of the President Jacob Zuma’s rape trial and the nude art painting to the extent where he toyed on jokes regarding SA’s president’s sexuality and sexual maneuvers.

That to me is all what stand-up comedy must be. Find humour in everyday events. He doesn't need to be a clown to be a comic. Even though he blew out of proportion the dates when Zambia had its first escalators, the truth is you will find a lot of children(some adults too) at the malls going up on an escalator then immediately going down one the other end and then up and that continues. Of course as far back as I can remember there were escalators in ZCBC shops back in the 1980’s but then for one reason or another they disappeared only to re-emerge around 2009 or there about.   

Regardless of when the first ever escalator was built in Zambia, it matters less to Trevor as a comic, as soon as he saw a few people seemingly fascinated by one it was enough ammunition for him. The first escalators may have been present in Zambia since the 18^th century, 1964 or 1980 but to see a few people so enthralled by it was to him enough material for a show. For all he thought, they could have been built in August!

Comedy actually rides on exaggerations. I have listened to Bob Nkoshya a couple of times make fun of the Lozi tribe. I have never at any time, as a Mulozi child, ever felt offended by any of Bob’s insinuations taken as jokes. One of the Silozi jokes I’ve heard from Mr Nkoshya is that; Lozi’s are a very economical people, which manifests even in the naming of children where a child will be given the same first name which is also the last name. There is no shortage of names but just plain economical. Names of things are extremely shot such as; ndu for house, mba for stomach, ngo for nose etc. This according to Bob is different to Ici bemba for instance where there are longer names as; Ing’anda, Ifumo, Umuona respectively. Bob goes further to suggest that a lady dating a mulozi must bear in mind that the man will display trait of being ‘economical’ which will also be evident in his spending on her. In other words greedy or stingy.

I do not think any mulozi has taken offense to Bob getting the facts of some of the naming or wording patterns and made a joke of it and sugar coat with more insinuations. It is what comedy is all about. A comic sees something odd, amplifies the situation with all sorts of insinuations and they go to the bank smiling.

However, comedians must take responsibility of their utterances to avoid injuring people; it is also everyone’s responsibility to draw the line between comedy and statements of fact. I have played the Trevor Noah clip over and over and each time could only find humor in it. It is by no means a reason for any tourist to shun coming to Zambia, in fact most people would be motivated to come to Zambia to among other things see how Zambians get fascinated by escalators. Then they will realize it may not be entirely true but they will also see a couple of people ‘riding’ the escalators more times than necessary and they will laugh all the way back to their country. Like the saying goes, ‘any publicity is good publicity’. 

So what? It is just comedy. 

The President is on Facebook!

Perhaps this blog has come two weeks late, maybe more.

It is not every day that the main daily tabloids get the same lead story and headline. Of course the phrasing of the headline can never be ‘identical’. Over the last two years, there have only been three occurrences when I noticed to have been carried as the lead story in all the daily papers. The first was in February 2012 when all the papers carried a sports story as the lead headline after Chipolopolo (Zambia National Soccer Team) were crowned AFCON champions for the first time. Then in December 2013, every newspaper carried the news of the death of Nelson Mandela as the lead story.

So on Saturday 18^th January 2014 when the three main daily tabloids in Zambia all ran the story of president Michael Sata joining Facebook as the lead story, it dawned on me that this had to be a momentous happening. More than a week on, the action by his excellence the president to join Facebook was still attracting debate. Hot fm radio breakfast show on Monday 27^th January 2014 played a clip of a gentle man (I can’t recall his identity) who complained at the fact that the president has never held a press conference since assuming office but decided to interact with people on Facebook when statistics indicate that internet usage in Zambia is really low. 

The fact that the president is embracing Facebook does not come as a surprise to me as I believed that it was just a matter of time before it happened. Besides, in the preceding weeks before the screaming headlines of the president joining Facebook, I had noticed a lot of opinion makers in Zambia touch on the subject. The Post Newspaper had carried editorials in which social media and Facebook to be specific was attacked. The post cited two aspects of social media which they seem not to like. The first issue cited was the fact that a lot of Zambians were spending a lot of productive time posting and responding to Facebook updates at the expense of productivity. Their second concern has been that a lot of fake Facebook accounts exist just for slandering others, rumour mongering and character assassination of fellow citizens while hiding in the anonymity of such accounts.

However not all opinion makers had a bone to chew with Facebook, as Emmanuel Mwamba upon being appointed information permanent secretary pledged to modernize the public media as well as making sure they respond to new trends such as the new media --social media. In order to be relevant to the people the president has to engage the people using a media that is most outreaching –and Facebook is one such platform. Hakainde Hichilema, Elias Chipimo, Silvia Masebo, Edith Nawakwi, Myles Sampa, Judith Kapijimpanga and many more have all been using facebook for many reasons chief of which is to communicate to the public of upcoming events and the positions they take on several matters of national importance.

Above and below: Screaming headlines

Myles Sampa in particular has used Facebook effectively. He has been able to highlight developments in his constituency, explain some government decisions and generally engage the electorate. In fact, I was very elated when Mr Sampa recently posted something that suggested he would address the bad state of Vubu road in Emmasdale which falls under his constituency. A lot of people have accused Mr.Sampa of neglecting Vubu road simply because Emmasdale is not as densely populated as the other areas of his constituency. It is common knowledge that politics is primarily a game of numbers; hence it is more beneficial to him if he facilitated the building of a bridge at Shadreck area, a basketball court in George compound or a futsal pitch at Matero market.

However this theory may just be mere speculation. Because he has been giving feedback through interaction on Facebook, the Matero MP has come out now to say he will look into the issues of Vubu road. Perhaps he just never noticed the state of Vubu road or it just one of those non priority roads.

My view… My thoughts…

Charles Darwin is famed for his theory of evolution by natural selection. Darwin’s theory states that "In the struggle for survival, the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals because they succeed in adapting themselves best to their environment." However, Darwin is also quoted as having said that, "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." You may not agree with all of Darwin’s theories but nothing comes as truthful as that. If you do not respond to change you become irrelevant.

A lot of politicians have realized that Zambia’s population is largely youthful, and the medium of communication most popular with them today is social media. In the quest to avoid being irrelevant, they have had to adapt and join the band wagon that uses social media as a means of communication

In August 2013, I blogged on Social Media and Marketing and I got a response on Google plus from a lady who claimed I am overrating the power of social media. The truth is that social media has become more powerful than television in shaping public opinion and this is what HEMCS has realized. What I doubt though is if the page is run by the president himself. Running a page that responds to people’s questions and posts regularly is a lot of work which needs a team of minimum three people that work round the clock at least 20 hours a day.

In this case I’d think George Chellah, the special assistant for press and public relations at state house is the brains behind the page. Of course it may be a lot of work for him alone so I further suspect he has a team that does the work which he nods and forwards to the head of state for approval before posting online. The responses to people’s questions are kept to a minimum to avoid over committing the head of state. This in itself is a problem because once you open a Facebook page for the purposes of communication and media relations you must interact as much as is possible.

Failure to do so can prove costly as one individual who may feel 'short changed' by an inadequate response can easily turn to be a thousand people, then, a million people and so on. In as much as social media gives a plat form for communicating to lots of people quickly, it can also be a means of transmitting negative feedback to far too many far too quickly.

However Facebook like any product and technology can have many people that abuse it, the same way internet is abused by many people. Face book also must not be the reason for unproductiveness. Those that go to school must divide their time properly the same way my generation maneuvered through the problem of too much television. Those who are in business or employed, unless employed to be updating an organisation’s Facebook page must put away their phones and all manner of gadgets during working hours. With or without Facebook the lazy bunch will always find something to take them into procrastination mode.

As for those that create fake accounts to slander others, that is crime and all the police can do is invest in IT training to be able to counter cyber-crime more effectively. It is not only slander that is the problem; Facebook is full of conmen and con women that commit fraud. At the end of the day, social media doesn’t make anyone less productive or a criminal. The criminals just find yet another way to commit crime while the unproductive find yet another reason to be unproductive.

I personally think it was a good move for the president to open the page, but going by the numbers of posts that have been put up so far, it is too much too soon. An official page like one for a president must be updated maybe weekly to communicate a message and another one the following week. It should not be made a campaign page that shows every junction where new traffic lights are installed and so on. Let the page inform, communicate and explain many public policy announcements. At the moment the Industrial Development Corporation (IDC), is one such policy that has been received with mixed reactions. The government through the page can make the nation understand its mechanism and most importantly the importance.

As long as you are not biased, the setting up of the Facebook page by the president is a good and strategic move to get closer to the youth, the majority voters last time out. While some sections of society are not happy that the president has never called a press conference since assuming office hence should not interact with anyone on the internet, it is important to note that it is impossible for the president to entirely run the Facebook page. This page is not entirely for interaction or question and answer as a press conference would have aspects of questions and answers.

The president himself may not be directly interacting with his audience but just authorizing messages that go online. But because these messages are passed to him for authorization before going online it is still good enough. The bottom line is that the page is there mainly for PR purposes and maybe…and just maybe… to keep a foot on the ground with the people so as to read the mood in the country regarding various issues. If George Orwell had written the book Animal Farm in the era of Facebook, Squealer would have had a bigger role than the book portrays already.