The Lazy farmer’s tractor

It’s safe to say I've watched more enjoyable games of football. But Manchester united got the job done without really engaging the high gears, so I couldn't complain too much. The good news though was that the usual ‘title contenders’ Chelsea and Manchester City, two teams all the media have predicted will finish above United both dropped point. Chelsea lost at Everton and City escaped with a draw at Stoke City’s Britannia stadium. However, the game of the weekend for me was not played in the Barclays English premier league but was a cup game in the Zambian Barclays cup.

Green Eagles, the leaders of division 1 south against ZESCO united the leaders of the Zambia Super League (ZSL) was the game. This was an entertaining game full of end to end stuff and a lot of determination particularly from Green Eagles who had been down from very early in the game and they mounted a come-back. ZESCO palpably hang on a thread the entire second half but when the equalizer eventually came it was too little too late as the game had to be decided by penalty shoot-out where the more experienced ZESCO triumphed.

Spending the weekend at home and in front of the TV was as much refreshing as it was enlightening. ZNBC is still the same, MUVI TV has made great strides, MOBI TV is still struggling to find a niche, TV2 still hasn't hit the road running and then there is PRIME TV. I forgot to mention TBN Zambia, what happened? I thought the broadcast was better in their early days. Now it’s a struggle from content to signal quality. Luckily, worries of signal quality will soon be a thing of the past as analog transmission will be something done away with the world over. 2015, welcome digital TV!

ZNBC TV

ZNBC news is still quite the same.  There have been a few changes on the general content on the ZNBC channel with a lot of soaps from the Philippines and this is not only synonymous to ZNBC as I saw a lot of such on MUVI TV and TV2. Smooth talk hasn't changed much, still seems like a high school press club show. Smooth talk reminds me of blunt chat, a show I had hosted once or twice at Hillcrest Secondary School in Livingstone within the confines of the debate club. In my opinion, Frank Mutubila’s ‘Frank talk’ was the best local talk show ZNBC has ever seen (at least during my time). Good news for soccer lovers is that ZNBC now shows at least one game from the Barclays Premier league. It would be a plus if they showed the local Zambia Super League as well. I was glad that they did air the Barclays cup though. Then, “The Sunday Interview” is one programme I willing tune into to watch, and this Sunday Grevazio Zulu featured Prof. Ngugi Wa Thiongo.

TV2

At the time TV2 was introduced, there was quite a lot of optimism as this station signaled the long awaited emancipation from the very political ZNBC. In my view, TV2 was launched as a response to the success MUVI TV had scored upon them getting into broadcasting business. Local programmes like Banja and Constable had become instant hits thus TV2, as I was made to believe then, was going to be full of local content to satisfy that particular niche.  This was in turn going to encourage local film production. This is not what I saw this past weekend on TV2. Instead I watched a number of productions from the Philippines. The good thing about TV2 was that it was devoid of the countless number of political documentaries that have always been a constant feature of ZNBC main channel.

MOBI TV

This is one TV station that has had its highs and lows since inception. At some point, I even thought the station had gone extinct. When I tuned into MOBI TV I was taken aback by the level of picture clarity. Great work I must say. I also noted that MOBI was probably the most up to date in terms of broadcasting a diverse selection of Hollywood movies. Then there was a ‘top 10’ music show that was aired on Saturday where 50% of the videos played featured Nicki Minaj.  I guess the viewers that vote really love to watch her booty! On the same show, dedication messages sent via text were scrolling with a few dedicating songs to friends and relatives but 95% were detailing the age group or whatever physical looks they would want from the opposite sex and a mobile number to respond to. This could have passed for a hook-up show… instead of a musical show. Other than that, MOBI had perhaps the best programming, but they didn’t do their reputation justice when it came to live studio programmes. The news was read by individuals that looked like they were too bored and just waiting for the opportunity to end. Never mind the content. The execution of the news left you with an idea that the news writer and reader were student interns trying to gain some news room experience.

MUVI TV

From the time MUVI TV was established, it has played its role as an alternative to ZNBC quite well. This is in terms of programming, news content and generally just what you wouldn't find on ZNBC. For instance I realized they have a current affairs programme, ‘the scoop’, which almost embraces the concept of investigative journalism. It is the MUVI TV version of Carte Blanche. Costa Mwansa who hosts ‘the assignment’ programme still remains the best interviewer this country has at the moment. So this past weekend when I watched Alexander Musokotwane interviewing Emmanuel Mwamba it wasn't quite the same programme. MUVI TV seems to be doing quite a lot of right things.

The one thing which MUVI TV did not get right was this year’s version of Ready for Marriage. I only watched snippets of the previous seasons of the programme hence I have no proper reference for comparison. With or without a reference, Master Chimbala still got it wrong on a number of points.

·         Time keeping. This was perhaps the most irritating aspect of the show. The programme was supposed to be airing every day at 20:45hrs, but the earliest I ever saw the programme start was 21:05hrs.

·         Content. Having to wait for several hours for a programme that would seemingly take eternity before airing is one thing, but having to be treated to content that passes to be a failed bid of stand-up comedy is something else altogether. I don’t think the concept of the show is anywhere near stand-up comedy.

·         Editing. Live shows are not the easiest to do and hence producers need to be extra alert and direct the different camera persons accordingly in order to edit some things out. The case of the Lusaka mayor’s body guard (Kapaso) comes to mind. The guy receives a phone call and he is shown on TV gesturing to the mayor that he has to take the call then walks away to take the call and then comes back to stand behind the mayor.

I could go on and on but because am not an expert on broadcasting, I will leave it here. This is strictly from a lay man’s observations.

Bad Workmen

A bad workman always blames his tool, or must I say, “The lazy farmer always blames his tractor”. The literal meaning of this proverb is different in some languages. For example, in Russian the meaning of the proverb is; “a bad dancer is impeded even by his balls". In English however, this is something that you say when someone blames the objects they are using for their own mistakes. A bad workman will never find a good tool. Even If a bad workman is given good tools he will not be able to make use of them because he lacks the basic skills and is inefficient. The sad part is that he is never prepared to accept his own deficiency in training, drawbacks and blemishes. He invariably attributes the poor workmanship to the tools.

Many times I have heard the talk of our broadcasters lacking this equipment or that incentive in order to produce quality programmes. They may have fooled me for some time, but they won’t fool me all the time. I won’t take excuse any more. How are the small studios making great Zambian music videos able to produce quality products? Do you mean to tell me that one can tell the nation that a programme will be airing at 8pm and it doesn’t show at that time because they lack equipment? Ready for marriage in my view had too much input from one man. No one can do everything alone. Someone else needs to present, another produce and yet another directing.

A student who is not prepared for the examination tries to get away saying that the paper was tough.

Tools will always be blamed for mediocrity!

Summer time

While I enjoyed the weekend sitting in front of the television, the weather was my only bother. Summer is finally here. At times I felt like there wasn't enough air to breathe and I missed the SAMSUNG split type air conditioner at my office. I’d have to find ways to survive this heat and make do with the available fan at home as I have made sure to spend more weekends at home. Summer time in Zambia isn't the easiest of seasons and is not greeted with great expectations like other countries do.

Whatever your take on Zambian summer is, we can still celebrate the season by enjoying ice cream outings and storing large volumes of it in our refrigerators.  The Zambian summer these days also includes a lot of outdoor events like pool parties and bikini parties.

Yes bikini parties. By the way, this is the season that deodorant (roll on & spray) supplies must never run out.